One facet of living in a predominately Muslim country is the exposure to different ideals of living. One in particular is the fact that Islam allows multiple wives, usually up to 4 wives for a husband. This is obviously, for most Americans, very unusual. Personally, I can't imagine the jealousy, stress, and rife that would be involved; I could barely handle that with one significant other.
Anyways, I thought I'd write on this topic after reading this very interesting, and relavent (mentions Gambia) article from the NY Times.
Eventually, most of the Gambia men I have discussions with will ask me if I have a wife. This usually progresses to their marriage life and then to questions concerning why I don't have at least one wife. I will tell them that a wife is too expensive or I haven't found the appropriate woman, but this only perplexes them more. And of course, every man wants an American wife, which they do not forget to remind me about each day. I try to explain that an American woman wouldn't have anything to do with a man who will always be looking for another woman to add to his stock, but this is to no avail. Their response is that they just won't tell them. OK, good luck with that.
It's an interesting idea. What 50 year old prune wouldn't want a 20 year old beauty? But as with most, anything in excess will usually lead to problems.
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My Peace Corps Volunteer Experience in The Gambia. I will be working at the National Nutrition Agency which runs every nutrition program in the country including, salt iodization, vitamin A supplementation, anemia control, etc. I'm a Registered Dietitian interested in international work.
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9 comments:
Surely a man made up that allowance. But it's only the good ones that realize and faithfully stand by only one.
Other than the obvious, what are the logics behind polygamy?
Uh, let them know that if they marry an american woman, each one comes with an american attorney.
Then let them know that if they ever do anything wrong (not by thier definition, but by hers) they will end up paying everything they have to the lawyer first then the courts, then her and this includes future earnings!
If that doesn't work, tell them about womens liberation.
Ha.
i love the answer:
“Our mothers accepted it. Our grandmothers accepted it. Why not us?”
...in regard to having multiple wives.
if that were simply true for everything, there would be no such thing as progress or betterment or hope for anything better.
i wonder how many things WE do simply based on that precept; that others consider it acceptable...
Hey Dave, we found a baby great white shark on the beach by the seal rookery on Rincon beach. Its the coolest little miniature of a great white. Cute, but makes you a little uncomfortable. Poor thing had died, check it out on the California blog....m
The "surely a man made up that allowance" comment (which was made by my woman)...
That "man" was GOD, and its purpose was out of necessity for a time long past. Also, God said later that is was no longer necessary. What it ends up being is another overindulgence for selfish purposes. Mankind is a pro at coming up with great reasoning for those types of purposes.
no
I liked what Once Again said...about our accepting some things just because others do it!
It is a good thing to think for yourself, letting other voices speak, but doing what is put in your own heart, especially when God is in charge of it (your heart).
Much, much more is accomplished for one's self, and the world, when we do what we know is right.
Thanks for all the interesting comments everyone. It really is easy to just keep rolling along with what you grew up knowing, and it has especially come to light for me here. We really need to evaluate why we believe what we do. For so long I just rolled right along with what I was taught and tried to fit everything in the world into my own box according to the narrow view I was raised. You can't fit the world into a shoebox.
The Muslims here do follow the Quran, as Christians follow the bible, to an extremely literal view. The justification of polygmy is mainly to help orphans of relatives. Also, as my always knowledgable big brother mentioned, for the benefits of more labor help. But now, here, it is more of a rung on the status quo. But don't forget, if you can't treat each wife equally and justly, you shouldn't marry more than one. It's amazing how we as humans can justify most anything.
Love you all
Hi. I'm a future Peace Corps Volunteer (West Africa in July)that stumbled aross your blog. I know this was intended for family and friends, but I want to let you know how much I enjoyed reading about your service. Thanks for putting this info out there!
"I try to explain that an American woman wouldn't have anything to do with a man who will always be looking for another woman to add to his stock, but this is to no avail. Their response is that they just won't tell them. OK, good luck with that."
Hilarious!
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